I have always known that the time will come when you will realize how stupid you are for falling in love with a girl like me. Ever since we met, I was so afraid you will suddenly bump your head and wake to the fact that you deserve so much more. I was so afraid I was not good enough for you. And even if I have always known this day will come, it still pains me because I have always thought your love will somehow accept me even if. But it didn’t.
I would arrive home from school at eight in the evening, and we would start our long night at nine.
Exactly in the middle of homeworks and projects piled up due the next day, my phone will be ringing, and then there was you keeping me awake, working and happy.
I miss those long nights until three in the morning when we will just talk about nothing, anything and everything. We will talk about life and love and food, and without me noticing, I am done with my homeworks.
I miss those late nights when I fall asleep listening to your voice reading me poems and singing me songs out of tune.
I miss those long late nights with you.
Because now, my late nights are just tears of missing those late nights with you.
You used to say “I don’t care” when people ask you about our what if’s. What if she leaves you? What if she falls out of love? What if she finds another? And you’ll shrug it all off like you really would not care and still love and accept me if I do those things to you. But I did not do them. You did. And it pains me to admit that I don’t care… and that I still love you even after all.